Captain's Excitable Sing-along Log!

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Captain's Excitable Sing-along Log!

Post by Lomonde on Wed Jan 29, 2014 7:52 pm

*Reading the page seems to inspire a jingle in your head*  

Captain: I am the Captain of the Screaming Duck!

Chorus: “Duckling” we think you mean.

Captain: Oh forgive me for my slight,
But it’s difficult all right?
To match it to the rhythmic scheme!

Chorus: We’ll forgive him for his slight,
Since it’s difficult that’s right,
To match it to the rhythmic scheme!

Captain: Make it an aria or strain,
I’ll compose a new refrain,
In four part harmony!
I can croon an air or two,
With my grand ensemble crew,
And I never lead out of key!

Chorus:  What never?

Captain: No never!

Chorus: What never?

Captain: Well...hardly ever!

Chorus: He’s hardly ever out of key...
So give three cheers and loudly sing, for the hearty Captain of The Screaming Duckling!
So give three cheers and loudly sing, for the Captain of The Screaming Duckling!


~


Captain: I do my best to sail us safely through.

Chorus: At best we’re satisfied.

Captain: Though mishaps may occur,
And occasionally I’ll err,
Your shaky faith leaves me gratified.

Chorus: While mishaps do occur,
And most of the time he'll err,
Our shaky faith leaves him gratified!

Captain: Since I started my career,
As a lowly privateer,
I take to the wheel with glee!
I am never known to fail,
To take a challenge from a gale!
And I hardly ever sink at sea!

Chorus:  What never?

Captain: No never!

Chorus: What never?

Captain: Hardly ever!

Chorus: He hardly ever sinks at sea...
So give three cheers and loudly sing, for the hearty Captain of The Screaming Duckling!
So give three cheers and loudly sing, for the Captain of The Screaming Duckling!



(Hurrah! Hurrah! Hooray for Pinaforemania!)
(I think I've made it clear by now how much I enjoy Gilbert&Sullivan)
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Re: Captain's Excitable Sing-along Log!

Post by erwtenpeller on Wed Jan 29, 2014 8:09 pm

Brilliant work!

We shall have the men rehearse these chanteys to keep morale high when on the open seas.

- Wellsworth.
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Re: Captain's Excitable Sing-along Log!

Post by Lomonde on Mon Mar 24, 2014 10:59 am

I don't always blow my own trumpet...
Actually, scratch that. I do so constantly. Hold on I'll start again.

I don't always blow my own trumpet seriously

But when I do, I make it a fanfare with chorus lineup.
 Wink 


~


Gosh it disturbs me to see you my friends,
Flailing about like pure chumps!
It wouldn't surprise me if you met your ends,
At the weak tentacles of some flumphs!
Let me tell you it does not have to be this way,
I’ll help you improve by a mile!
Though losing to wounds is called “dying” they say,
I prefer to say “Failing with Style!”

No one...
Sings like Lomonde, No one thinks like Lomonde,
No one pilots a vessel then sinks like Lomonde.
And there’s no elf whose tastes are so diverse,
Though of gold he is rather fond.
You had best keep an eye on your coin purse,
With riches with which he would love to abscond!
No one casts like Lomonde, No one’s fast as Lomonde,
No one’s sword-swinging strikes are kick ass as Lomonde’s,
In melee his technique is extraordinary,
Beware all foes of Lomonde!

Give five hurrahs, give seven aye ayes!
This spoony bard is not so hard to despise!

No one shoots like Lomonde, Plays the Lute like Lomonde,
No one pulls off those elvenkind boots like Lomonde.
For there’s no one as flighty or fancy,
Or dashing or desperate for fun.
If your luck or success appears chancy
He’s there to provide that decisive plus one!
No one can josh like Lomonde, Or speak bosh like Lomonde,
There’s no one who buckles his swash like Lomonde,
Over high seas or low lands he’s gallivanting,
Won’t someone sort out Lomonde!?

When I was a sapling I sang on the stage
So my sweet dulcet tones all would know.
But now that I’m grown, with an impressive range,
I amaze all with my falsetto!

No one...
Fares like Lomonde, No one dares like Lomonde
No one dazzles his foes with such flare as Lomonde,
For a friendly elf yes he’s exasperating,
My what a pest...
Lomonde!
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Re: Captain's Excitable Sing-along Log!

Post by Lomonde on Sat May 31, 2014 5:08 pm

The Warden and The Lord

A spark, a whisper, In the Pig of Old Town,
It rises, a chanting through streets up and down!
Spreading like wildfire, what excitement it fuelled!
Mage Fight! Mage Fight!  A Grand Wizard’s duel!
In the Valley of Heroes the crowd came to spy,
These wizened Archmages quite alike to the eye,
Both human, long bearded , with their scores to settle,
This night these arcanists would soon test their mettle,


With claws a-bristling with magic and more,
A lord oh so proud of his Keep Acrenor.
Beneath a dark hood with a glare filled with frost.
A sinister minister, Archmage Almadros!
Facing him stood a rival of old,
Whose powers once warded the great Violet Hold.
For one hundred and ninety he looked rather fine,
Yet fiercely defiant this Archmage Serentyne.


The Terms were laid bare, the prize it was named,
The blade Manarend, enchanted and famed,
Entrusted to one this tale-teller knows not
(T’was no business of his, what gave you that thought?)
Thus Warden and Lord exchanged quips and rules,
Prepared to exhibit their mast’ry of schools,
As fingers were flexed, all attention grew,
A hush fell around as spectators withdrew,


A shine! A gleam! The air was aflame,
With spine-tingling static,  of crackling arcane!
The stony faced Lord conjured first – en garde!
To bombard his foe with his shimmering shards,
Behind wat’ry shield  that was held up one-handed,
‘Gainst volley through volley the Warden still standed,
With a sneer and a thrust arched one deadly bolt,
Through fluid it flowed and struck with a jolt!


Searing his cheek, the Warden recoiled,
To reveal hidden charms with free hand unspoiled!
Three airborne inscriptions flickered behind back,
The first had impeded the Lord in his tracks!
The second it quickened the Warden’s own pace,
He flew at the Lord in a whirlwind of grace!
With the third he was armed with icicle pole arm
Yet with a blink and flash the Lord was safe from harm!


With a step and a twirl the Warden did dance,
He turned to the Lord and flung forth his lance!
Yet the readied Evoker with missiles to fly
Slung salvos of magic to halt cold yari!
Like fireworks between, both forces collided,
So evenly matched these powers subsided,
The Warden leapt forth, hov’ring blades by his side
With a flick of a finger a blast swept them aside!


Eyes fiercely ablaze, the Lord made a clenched fist,
Oh constricting constructions, a cage did exist!
Though with smiles and a wink the ensnared Abjurer,
Burst bubble with bubble and befuddled the viewer.
But the Lord was unfinished, and would not be denied,
And with sly illusions he soon multiplied!
With a banishing wind the real Lord he would find
The crowd screamed out – He was right behind!


With no time to turn he made one more shield,
That nullified casting?  An anti-magic field!
But in the case of old men, when their magic fails
The one with the weapon, with brute force will prevail
Wand dropped for a sword and the other with stave
The Lord struck foe with latter while blade both did crave,
As one can imagine a slap-fight ‘tween men frail,
Is not really much of a “magical” tale,
(While quite entertaining and amusing it’s true
I hope you’ll forgive me if I skip along through...
)


And so at the end of this pathetic brawl
With closed fist and a smite the Lord was made to crawl!
His shroud flew askew exposing a grey mane
He snarled like a lion, grimacing in pain
A hand clutched his robes, drew a glint! Then a flash!
Alike to his glare these knives flew up to slash!
Though merely a diversion, to make the field unfold,
He clutched at thin air at foe in stranglehold!


The Warden seemed helpless, silenced to a gasp.
As the Lord commanded with crippling grasp,
“Yield you old fool!  Are you not so wise?
I can be gracious, and postpone your demise!”
Defiant with last breath, the Warden incanted
A single small bolt towards the wand unwanted.
The Lord with a cry hastily evaded,
The resultant explosion and blaze that cascaded!


His shackles undone, the Warden drew his wand
With one tidal wave an Elemental spawned!
To engage with this spirit a second appeared,
One of pure arcane, one that he also steered.
With violent charge these new titans clashed
Roaring and screeching, their forms wildly thrashed!
Meanwhile their masters continued to pour,
With rain upon rain they cast-all-the-more!


Determined to end this and with robes a pyre,
The Warden he stormed through arcane hellfire!
With his final strength and with powerful spike
He laid the Lord low with a ward-shattering strike!
“Enough is enough!  Surely you can see?
Do you submit?” His one final plea.
Yet the reply it would seem all options to sever,
“By my family name, I answer thee – Never!”


The wizard still standing hung his head with a sigh,
‘Fore raising his voice with one last wearied cry;
“I would rather surrender  to thee on this field,”
Then submit to my anger, and so I will yield.”
At this declaration the mob was struck silent,
Then a thunderous roar, a clamour so strident!
The healers came running over cheers from the stands,
While others hung cursing as gold exchanged hands,


Burning and aching, bloodied and staggered,
Both Archmages were aided, strength waning and haggard,
They parted both ways, the Lord to his tower
And other to town, where both would recover.
Some say they fought to take rival’s domain,
To defend a friend’s honour or for innocent’s slain,
Regardless of reason and whatever dispute
There’s one simple fact one cannot refute


For us mundane folk it’s a special occasion
As a Wizard’s Duel is sure to cause a sensation.
So should you be lucky to spot them in the fray
Let everyone know and see the display!
Was that all? But what then?  Yes I hear you my friend,
Although this is far from this chronicle‘s end.
Both Archmages still live, yet to meet some accord,

But for now, ends the tale of The Warden and Lord.
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Re: Captain's Excitable Sing-along Log!

Post by erwtenpeller on Sat May 31, 2014 5:36 pm

I am such a fan of your little musical intermezzos, Lomonde. Truely you are a hero.
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